I lost your tobacco at the party

I didn’t even want to smoke

but I was very nervous for about half an hour

wearing such a dress as I was




I lost it

maybe someone took it

I don’t know




and stine said “don’t worry about it

she bought it last october

and when she mentions it

just tell her

it was dry, there was nothing left, get over it”







I was probably not nervous because of the dress

but because of the boy

whom I liked beyond the edge of my seat

and I felt I had to meet soon

and strip our relationship of all the

golden stars I had left on his fridge







so I met him

the next day




it went fine

to be honest







and when I got home

you asked me about your tobacco

and I told you with a grin

“it was dry, there was nothing left, get over it”







and you had a grin too

the kind panthers get

when their face muscles twitch

and you took a breath that wasn’t deep

but it was punctuating something

and said




“this thing

you had

with this boy”




then you paused again and looked away

(you have dramatic timing

and I love you very much)




“it was dry, there was nothing left, get over it”







and I laughed

and you laughed

(I even snorted

which made me laugh even harder)

and when we laugh we forget

we want to cry over something







and I hope he’s laughing too